So now we are 3 months into my training. And I am feeling good! My training is going well. My fundraising is ticking over. A huge thank you to City of Perth for helping to raise over $500 last week.
I am my harshest critic, and I have been beating myself up all week that I am not enough. That I am not running fast enough, far enough. When I am running and I want to stop and walk, the voice starts telling me that I am not strong enough, not fit enough.
But this morning after walking out of the gym following a good strength session, I had a bit of a chat to myself. Telling myself that I am strong enough, fit enough. I have achieved amazing things just in 3 months. I have just over 9 months to go before competition. I will achieve something phenomenal.
My body has been broken down to the most basic level of functioning and existence throughout my treatment. I remember coming home from hospital after my transplant. I would manage to get to the couch. If I got up and walked to the kitchen, got myself a drink and walked back, which would be maybe 20m in distance, I would need a nap. I could very easily have a 2 hour nap if I made myself a sandwich.
From that point, I have rebuilt myself. I got myself strong enough to be able to go on holiday to Europe, with a plan to trek one of the mountains in Wales.
My body then managed to create a tiny human with the assistance of science of course. My body struggled but it did it. I got through surgery after labour, and then more surgery a few months later to fix the damage that was done.
This week, I completed my second set of hill sprints. I train 6 days a week. I am sore, I am bruised, but I get it done. I train hard, but I do not push myself beyond what I can handle. To go from not being able to walk more than a few metres 6 years ago, to today, training 6 days a week, is an achievement! I should be proud.
I cannot yet run 5km in one stretch. But I can run longer and longer intervals now. I have to try and remind myself to not look at the time I complete the 5km in, but look at the time that I ran for. My goal at the moment is consistency. Get through my training sessions each week. Show improvements week to week. Run further and stronger each week. I will keep faith in my coaches, who keep reassuring me that I am doing well, I am on track and I will meet my target.
I have time on my side to work on pace. Pace will come. Until then, I will keep working on my easy effort runs, my hill sprints, and my weekly 5km with restricted pace. I will keep up my 3 strength sessions. And I will be enough.